Stop Talking and Start LovingPosted November 2, 2011 in Soul Dating & Love
I just found my new most recommended book. “Why Talking Is Not Enough: 8 Loving Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage.” By Susan Page. Whether you are married or not, this is a great book on spiritual partnership.
While training to become a Marriage and Family Therapist I learned about healthy communication. In classes we learned how to say, “When you…I feel…” statements. We read about how to help couples express themselves in non-reactive and calm ways. We practiced the ins and outs of reflective listening. We talked about the importance of taking breaths during heated arguments. All of this was important.
Yet, in the field, there seems to be a unchallenged idea that healthy communication can solve all of the problems in relationships. And in reality, it can’t. Sometimes it necessitates s a spiritual perspective on a relationship to even make sense of what the relationship is trying to do to each partner. What if we asked ourselves what our relationships were attempting to teach us on a Soul Level? How they were attempting to transform us into our biggest and most loving selves? What if we truly saw our relationships as spiritual assignments with our task being to become more of our Soul?
This perspective demands individuals that are willing to fight for the Soul Potential in themselves and their partner. (And sometimes the highest good for each Soul involved, may even result in the ending of the relationship.) Loving in this way…loving the other Soul directly and with a completely open heart, is a Spiritual Partnership. This can be hard work. It can be much easier to stay stuck in roles of each other, hanging out where we are comfortable and stuck because we are scared to do something else. That is why this book is genius. It gives validation for the mission of spiritual partnership through simple, direct, power-punched pearls of wisdom.
This is what she says on trying to change your partner ‘for the better’:”‘I’m trying to persuade my partner to be more organized or more thoughtful or more competent because I know it would be better for him or her, as well as better for the relationship. I’m trying to be helpful!’
Help is help only when it is perceived as help.”
Bam! Susan speaks the truth. Go get this book. Or 4. And pass them out to your friends. Maybe we can make relationships serve our spiritual connection instead of ego understanding…Or at least ease up the suffering a bit.